Letting Go of Us (Anchored Hearts Vol. 3) Read online

  “Cassidy, we should take it slow.”

  “Fuck taking it slow.”

  Before I could agree or disagree, her mouth found mine again as we walked to the couch, our arms tangled around one another. We sat down next to each other but it wasn’t long before she was on her back with me next to her. I broke the kiss as my hand skimmed over her exposed torso, her sweater lingering around her ribcage.

  My eyes scanned down her body. The skirt she wore was exposing too much of her thighs for me to keep control. My hand reached down to her ankle and slowly moved up the back of her calf and up to her knee. I lowered my lips to her knee and kissed my way a little higher. I lifted my eyes to hers as she waited for my next move. My hand moved under her skirt and caressed her hip as she bit her lip.

  “I don’t want to move too fast, Cass.”

  “I know. I’m ok. Please, kiss me.”

  Smiling, I asked, “Where?”

  Stifling a laugh she begged, “Here.” She pointed at her mouth as she narrowed her eyes at me.

  “Anything you want, Cass.”

  We continued making out and rubbing against each other for quite some time. Soon I was on my back as she dry humped my erection. Jesus. I was going to come in my pants if she didn’t stop doing that. Like she read my mind, her weight shifted as her hand pressed against my groin.

  “Cassidy, be careful. You don’t know how bad I want you.”

  “This,” she squeezed me gently as I sucked in a breath, “says otherwise.”

  “Evil. You’re evil.”

  I sat up with her straddling my lap and crashed my mouth to hers. She smelled so good and I couldn’t believe I finally had her in my arms again. The time in the hot tub had just been a tease. Her hands undid my pants and I wasn’t going to stop her. Her hand slipped in between my briefs and jeans as she grabbed on to me. My hands gripped her hips and pulled her closer. She shifted slightly so that she was humping my thigh as her lips worked down my neck and she continued stroking me.

  Before I could slow it down, her hand jerked me off as my orgasm flooded over me. Shit. She encouraged me on and didn’t seem disappointed, but I was. That was NOT how I wanted that to go. She went to get up but I stopped her.

  “No way. I’m not done with you.” The mess in my pants forgotten, I laid her back on the couch as I kissed her lips.

  My free hand found its way up her leg and skimmed over her wet panties. Her moan was a welcome sound as her arousal drifted through me. She spread her legs wider as the fabric stretched and exposed more of her to my hands. I continued rubbing her through the material, her clit swollen and waiting for more.

  “Touch me, Paul.”

  Her words had me hard all over again. I pulled the fabric down her hips with her assistance before resuming my task. She was eager to move against my fingers and I loved her enthusiasm. Her kiss became scattered as her body started showing the signs that she was close. I wanted to kiss every part of her, but knew I couldn’t, not at that moment.

  She started crying out as I made sure to keep my movement steady, to draw out her climax. She latched her arms around me as I whispered in her ear how beautiful she was and how much I’d missed her. There was an innocence to her, even though she wasn’t innocent anymore. I didn’t know how to explain it.

  A little while later, she was walking me to the front door. We’d both agreed that doing anything else, wouldn’t be the best idea, not for that night. I climbed in my truck and pulled away once Ryan pulled back in. I climbed in the shower once I got home and released another load as I yearned for the time when I would become one with her again. It almost seemed too good to be true.

  That Monday was Memorial Day and we were getting together at Cal’s for a BBQ. Cassidy and I had a hard time keeping our hands to ourselves and Cal was really cool about it. Jane was in a tough place too, being that James was her cousin. But I appreciated that she never treated me any differently. We found ourselves alone for a moment.

  “I just want you to know that her happiness is my top concern.” Jane squeezed my upper arm and hugged me.

  “Mine too, Jane. I promise. I know this puts you in an odd spot.”

  “Hmph. I know how frustrating he can be. I just hope he doesn’t regret his choice.”

  I just nodded at that. What was I supposed to say? I knew what it was like to regret choices made where Cassidy was involved.

  Cassidy and I weren’t able to see much of each other the rest of that week. We were both slammed with work which was understandable. We were able to meet for a couple of quick lunches, but Lena and Anthony were there both times. Cassidy and I made plans for that weekend to go out dancing and I was looking forward to letting loose and having some fun.

  We walked into the club that night. Drinking and fun the only thing on tap. “I want to get drunk. Get me drunk, Paul!”

  “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”

  “Spoil sport. You’ll keep me safe. Won’t you?”

  “Of course.” She smiled that killer smile of hers and leaned up to kiss me. I still couldn’t believe that we were back to that place. Her in my arms and kissing me. I was the happiest man on earth.

  We danced for hours, at least it felt that way. I took a break and when I came back from the restroom she was dancing with two girls that she’d introduced to me earlier, though I couldn’t recall their names. I sat at the bar, watching and downed my shot. As I observed more closely I became jealous and intrigued. With two shots in hand, I made my way to her and she eagerly downed the shot I handed her before pulling me closer.

  A waitress walked by and we discarded our empty vials and when I turned back to her I was met with a deep and passionate kiss. As we licked the traces of liquor from each other’s lips our hands took liberties. Her hands pushed under my shirt and around my back as she rubbed her belly against my aching cock. I wanted her so badly that I was ready to pull her into a dark corner. She broke the kiss and turned around, her ass pressed tight against me.

  The blonde began dancing with her as the other sandwiched in behind me. Before I could comprehend what was happening, Cassidy and the blonde were kissing. What the fuck was happening? I was turned on and jealous and pulled Cassidy toward me. She was drunk, or close to it and I was feeling the effects of the alcohol, too.

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  One minute I was kissing Paul and the next, Roxy and then Paul was pulling me back toward him. I was on my way to drunk and so turned on I was ready to hump a barstool. He wasn’t the dancer that James was. NO! I chastised myself for thinking about him. That night was about me, my wants, needs, forbidden desires, and there would be no regrets! I went there that night with the hopes of running into Roxy and Misty and I knew it wasn’t fair to Paul, but I didn’t care.

  I took Paul’s hand and Roxy’s in the other. If Misty followed, then the more the merrier. I headed toward the small bathroom in back, all my scruples pushed aside. I walked through the door and found it empty. Paul didn’t hesitate when I pulled him in as I man-handled him the best I could. Leaning up against the wall, I tugged him to me and kissed him.

  “Cassidy?”

  “Shut up, Paul.”

  Groaning, he succumbed to my kiss and leaned into me. I pulled my mouth from his and began kissing down his neck. I spotted Misty and Roxy as they locked the door and watched. It just fueled my fire as I plunged my tongue back into his mouth. If he knew we had an audience, he didn’t seem to care.

  Undoing his belt and pants, “Do you have protection?” He simply nodded as his hands roamed from my ass to my breasts and back again.

  His hand moved down to my knee and up my inner thigh. My tight skirt was pushed up higher as his hand found me. I was wet and aching and he didn’t waste any time pulling my panties aside to rub his fingers over me. My eyes drifted to Roxy as her seductive stare devoured me.

  Fueling my fire, I pulled Paul’s boxers down and clasped his hard-on. “Paul, get the condom on!”

  “This is crazy.”r />
  “That’s what makes it fun. I want you. Take me!”

  Bending over, he pulled a condom out of his pocket and quickly sheathed himself. I hiked my skirt up as he moved closer. He spotted Roxy and Misty and before he could object, I molded our mouths together and draped a leg around him. Moaning, he wrapped his arms around my legs and held me against the wall as his tip pushed against me.

  “I’ve wanted you, this, us, for so long.”

  “I know, baby. Don’t make me beg.” I reached between us and guided him in as he hiked my legs up a little further. My thighs clenched around his hips as he slowly sank into me.

  “Cassidy. Christ, you’re so tight.”

  “Fuck me.” It wasn’t a plea.

  He was talking too much. I just wanted to feel him pounding away inside of me. I don’t know how else to explain what the feeling of having a hard cock inside of me did to me. Like I was complete, full, and whole with another human being. A hot, tatted, muscled, sexy man who wanted nothing in that moment but me and my wet pussy. His entire being focused on me was a complete turn-on.

  Paul began fucking me, the way I liked as I dropped my head against the wall and reveled in the feel of it. My eyes opened to find Roxy standing next to us, Misty forgotten. Paul hesitated for a moment, almost as if gauging what she’d do next.

  “Don’t stop, she’s enjoying it, Paul.” Roxy encouraged him on, her eyes never leaving mine. “But I think she needs a little more.”

  Her hands moved over my shirt to caress my breasts. Paul gripped me tighter, the only part of my body left against the wall was my shoulder blades. Roxy leaned in and kissed me as Paul fucked me. Paul released some curse as his dick plunged in and out of me. Roxy moaned and pulled away. When my eyes refocused, I saw Misty sucking on her neck as her hands rubbed against Roxy’s crotch.

  My hand traveled to my clit and Roxy placed her hand on top of mine. Dropping my head to the wall, I pulled my hand away and let her work my clit while I fondled my breasts. She pulled her hand away and brought it to my lips. I sucked on her fingers briefly before she returned them to my clit.

  “Fuck, I can’t hang on much longer, Cassidy.”

  “Control it Paul. Let’s make her come first. Don’t worry, she’s close.”

  He slowed his pumping, but angled himself to hit me a little deeper. “Oh, God. Right there.” I don’t know who I was encouraging, Paul or Roxy. Roxy released a moan of her own as Misty’s hand massaged her like she was massaging me. “Oh…don’t…shit.”

  “That’s it pretty girl. Harder Paul, give her all of it.”

  Paul moved faster and I couldn’t stop it. My vision left me as bursts of ecstasy coursed through my body, from my fingers and down through my toes. As the sensations began to cease, Paul was convulsing as well, his head dropped against me. Roxy’s hand left me as I pulled Paul’s mouth to mine. We broke our kiss when there was a bang on the door.

  “Wrap it up. Some of us have to take a piss.”

  I couldn’t suppress the giggle as Misty told them to hang on. Paul pulled out of me, tied off the condom and flushed it down a toilet while I situated myself. Once he was dressed, we all walked out of the bathroom like nothing happened, ignoring the stares from those in the hall. I’m not sure what caught them more off guard, that there were three or four of us who emerged from the bathroom.

  I don’t remember how it happened, but we ended up downstairs at the bar as Misty allocated a room for us. Paul didn’t need too much persuasion as I asked him to do this with me.

  “Paul, I want this experience and I want it with you. It’s just one night.”

  I finished the drink in my hand before setting the glass down on a table. When Misty returned with the room key we followed her down the hall.

  The techno music could be heard in our room and I pulled Paul closer. I kissed him and he broke the kiss just long enough to tug my shirt over my head. His eyes drifted over me as he gently ran his fingers over the tops of my breasts. For a split second I regretted that we had re-consummated our relationship in the fashion we had. It should’ve happened alone, in the privacy of his place or mine.

  I had no further time to think about it as he walked me back toward the bed and fell down on top of me. The bed dipped on either side of us as Roxy and Misty flanked us. Misty reached in and pulled Paul’s shirt off. His entire torso was covered in ink. ‘Love’ and ‘Rage’ stood out prominently as I traced them with my fingers. He leaned down, kissing my shoulders as he pulled my bra strap down. He quickly discovered my phoenix tattoo and grazed it with his lips before unclasping my bra.

  Kneeling in front of me, he stared down at me in admiration. I went to touch him but my hands were restrained by Misty and Roxy. I consented as they tied my hands to the headboard above me and began moving their mouths over my body and Paul’s. Soon, they moved him to a chair, ordering him to watch.

  Chapter 7 ~ Ashamed

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  When I woke up, not sure if it was minutes, hours or days later, I was face down in the bed. Paul was next to me, Roxy on my other side, but I didn’t see Misty anywhere. FUCK! What had I done? My head began pounding as I took in the nakedness of all of us. I was suddenly ashamed and embarrassed as I recalled the torrid things we’d done to one another.

  My primary focus became fleeing. I had to get out of there. Music still played overhead which made me believe it was just very late in the night, or early in the morning. I managed to crawl out of the bed, Roxy and Paul undisturbed. As I finished dressing, Misty walked back in the room and regarded me casually.

  “I, I should go.”

  “No worries, sweets.” She just smiled and I became freakishly nervous. “Calm down. What happened here stays here. Roxy and I may be known for our transgressions, but we don’t kiss and tell.”

  I just nodded my head as I mumbled, “Ok.”

  “You just going to leave him here?” We both glanced at Paul and I was unsure of what to do. I’d rode with him, how was I going to get home? “You shouldn’t feel embarrassed, or whatever. We’re all consenting adults.”

  “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

  “James?”

  My stomach flipped, “Yes, no, I mean Paul and I. Dammit.” My emotions were going to betray me and I felt my throat tighten. “I have to go.” I grabbed my purse and fled.

  I was halfway down the hall when I bumped into someone. I mumbled sorry as I tried to get past her. “Cassidy?” Shit! Slowly, I turned around and was face to face with Annie. “You ok?”

  Those two words broke me. Of course I wasn’t ok. She took my hand and pulled me in a room and closed the door. We sat down on a couch as she waited for me to speak.

  “I messed up, but it felt amazing. Why do I feel so guilty?” She smiled at me before we talked for a while.

  ~ JAMES ~

  I had been talking with Annie, down a hallway and away from prying eyes and ears. I was mid-sentence when her red hair caught my attention. Annie’s eyes followed mine as we observed. She was holding Paul’s hand, pulling him behind her, with Misty and Roxy in tow.

  “God dammit!”

  I went to move and Annie put her hand on my chest to stop me. “James. Don’t. Let her do this.”

  I glared at her, but didn’t need to say anything. She knew how I felt. We watched as the four of them walked into one of the dozen bedrooms. I was going to be sick. My heart ached, stomach churned and my body was raging. Misty moved the indicator on the outside of the room so that people knew it was occupied. I felt Annie’s eyes on me before she grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hall. She walked us into her room and closed the door.

  “How do I sit here knowing what’s going on?”

  “You have to let her do this.”

  “The fuck I do!” I grabbed the small table in front of us and threw it against the wall and watched as it shattered to the floor. “She’s my wife!”

  “And YOU set this plan in motion. She thinks you don’t want her. She’
s doing what any hot-blooded woman would do. You know if it was me, I’d be fucking anyone who came into my path.”

  “Dammit!”

  “Set her free. If she comes back, you know she’s yours. Isn’t that what you want? Her to come back to you.”

  I dropped to my knees as the emotions flooded me. “She has to come back. She’s a part of me. Annie, I can’t breathe without her.”

  She pulled my head into her lap as I cried. “You stupid, stupid man.” I left a short time later, our plan falling into place, or so I prayed.

  I got in my truck and drove around aimlessly. It was all my fault. I’d deliberately pushed her to the edge. I knew what desire I’d awakened in her and I was wrong to think she’d only want that high with me. She was searching for a fix, like a junkie, and I prayed that she’d realize I was the only dealer for her.

  I scrolled through my playlist and put on End of Me by A Day to Remember. What if I lost her to Paul? Was group play what she really wanted? Was that something I could give her? Sharing never bothered me before she came along, but she was different. I wanted to be the only one to give her pleasure and I wanted to be the only one she wanted to receive her pleasure from.

  ~<>~<>~<>~

  I kept busy with the house and the renovation of the bar over the next week. The anniversary of Holly’s death was fast approaching and I wondered how Cassidy was dealing with it. Could I reach out to her as a friend and show support? I wanted her to know that I remembered. Annie had stayed in touch and just told me that Cassidy had listened to her, but made no decision.

  That Saturday afternoon I couldn’t get Holly and Cassidy out of my mind. I spent a few hours at the bar checking the progress. Paul seemed on edge, but I didn’t inquire. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what was bothering him. Walking out the back door, the scene from the previous year played out in front of me.