Letting Go Read online

  “Why did you leave? You scared me.” He was holding my face in his hands. “Cassidy, look at me. You can’t deny the attraction between us. It was there all those months ago and it’s still here right now.”

  There was so much emotion surrounding my thoughts and feelings for him. I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame the first time I saw him and still was. And then it all went to shit in one night. I looked into his eyes and they were full of concern.

  “I’m scared of what I feel when I’m around you. You scare the hell out of me.” He looked stricken and dropped his hands from my face. “Not afraid of you, afraid of this,” I waved my hand between us. “I’ve never been so drawn to someone. And you left me that horrible night without a word. I didn’t know what to think. And then you were arrested and I couldn’t process it.”

  He pulled me to him and started talking into my hair. “Baby, I didn’t leave you that night. I never wanted to leave you. I came back with our coffee and I saw you with a cop. He was holding you and I got the wrong impression.”

  “Wait, what?! Calvin…you thought I was with…” I was crying and laughing at the same time. “Calvin is my brother.” I pushed away from him just enough to look at him.

  He wiped my tears and said, “I know, I found out a few days later when they were questioning me.” He must have felt me stiffen. “Cassidy, the charges were dropped. You know that, right?” I nodded my answer and he embraced me again. “I promise you I had nothing to do with what happened that night.”

  “I spent months trying to hate you so I could get over you, but I couldn’t and I never even had you.”

  “Baby, you had me, you still have me. Last night was just confirmation, Cassidy.”

  “Confirmation? You took me to bed and let me sleep! I thought you had second thoughts after I clobbered you to the floor.”

  He looked at me like I’d sprouted a second head. Laughing softly he said, “Is that what this is about, you running out this morning? You think because you’re clumsy I don’t want you?”

  “Yes?” I felt like a complete dolt now that he said it out loud.

  “You’re more genuine than anyone I’ve ever met. You’re a little clumsy, so what? Your feelings are written all over your face and have been since the first time we locked eyes. It took every ounce of control I have not to claim you as my own every time I saw you at the bar. Admittedly, I lost control in the elevator. I had planned to take it slower with you.” He was all smiles and I felt myself melting again. I was transfixed on his face and ran my hands over the stubble on his face then back through his hair. “Besides, I’m fond of the shirt you’re wearing and I need it back.”

  I laughed, “Shut up.”

  “I can’t believe you ran down the hall in only my t-shirt.”

  “I don’t know. I’ve grown attached to the shirt. You may have to fight me for it. And look at you. You ran down the hall in only your sleep pants.”

  Holy hell, he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Why hadn’t I noticed that before? I’d been itching for months to run my hands over his chest. I placed my hands on his chest and noticed him suck in his breath. I flashed my eyes to his face and realized his eyes were closed. He stood in front of me while I remained sitting on the counter. I took my eyes back to his chest and took in the tattoo covering his right shoulder. It was a dragon that spanned from the top of his shoulder down his whole upper arm. I traced it with my fingers, “This is beautiful.”

  “Thank you, Blackbird. You like it?” He was practically panting as my lips kissed his shoulder. I spread my legs and pulled him closer to me. “I’ll take that as a yes.” His hands trailed up and down the tops of my thighs.

  “Why do you call me Blackbird?”

  “Why do you think?”

  I looked into his eyes, not sure what to think. I ignored his question and went back to admiring the dragon, “This must’ve taken hours?”

  He chuckled, “Maybe.” He increased the pressure on my thighs and moved a little closer. “Do you have any other tattoos, Cassidy?”

  He tasted almost as good as he smelled. I kissed from his tattoo, across his collar bone and licked up his neck to his ear before pulling his lobe into my mouth and breathed heavily, causing him to shudder.

  “Maybe.”

  He groaned. “Cassidy…”

  “I know how you can find out,” I whispered.

  Chapter Six – Phoenix…

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  I pulled back to look at him and he dove onto my mouth. I moaned out in surprise and wrapped my legs around him, with my heels resting against the curve of his ass. His hands held my face to his and I couldn’t get enough of his tongue. He abandoned my mouth and continued his trek down my jaw to my neck.

  I was kneading the massive expanse of his back feeling his arousal bounce on my thigh. I shifted myself, tucking him tightly against the center of my body. He let out a growl that caused my skin to tremble. My breasts were heavy and aching for his touch. Like he could read my mind, he conquered my right breast with his mouth while the other got relief from his hand. My head fell back as I relished his touch through my shirt.

  The anticipation was killing me. I wanted him, needed him. I reached down between us and pulled the cord that kept his sleep pants in place. They loosened just enough to grant access to my hands. I seized his cock and he bucked into my hand.

  “Dammit Cassidy. Be careful, you’re playing with fire.” He was large—larger than anyone I’d ever been with—but I was up to the task.

  “I like fire. Burn me if you must.” I loved how quickly we responded to each other’s little quips. Before I was aware of it, he yanked the shirt off of me and smothered me with the heat of his body.

  Cassidy was driving him mad. James had never felt so frenzied before or been so filled with lust, want, and need. Once he had her he knew he would never get enough. She was tempting and teasing as she met and responded to every touch. ‘Burn me if you must.’ James pulled his shirt off her and captured her perfect breasts. Taking turns kneading one while he sucked and licked the other. Her hands gripped his hair and pulled him closer. Something caught his eye and he lifted his head to see what it was.

  Cassidy had a tattoo of a phoenix. It was a black outline and lacked color. The head of the phoenix was next to her breast, under her armpit. The body traveled down and under her breast, along her rib cage, with the tail wrapped under the same breast. It was beautiful.

  James ran his hands over it while asking, “Is it finished? It’s beautiful.”

  I raised my head to see what he was referring to. He found one. It was kind of hard to miss with my shirt off. “Only thing left to add is color.”

  “Are there any more?”

  “Maybe.” I smirked as he growled at my limited response.

  His growl was the sexiest sound I’d ever heard. He pulled me back against him as the hard length of his manhood pressed against my panties. I rotated my hips and whimpered when a surge of passion ran through us simultaneously. His hands seized my hips as he thrust against me, causing my insides to churn.

  “James, please don’t make me beg.” I was panting like a dog in heat as he licked his way down my abdomen. He circled my navel while his hands traveled down and under my ass and began squeezing. “Oh, God!”

  “I thought I told you to call me James?” He lifted his head and I could see the smile in his eyes.

  I breathed his name and he smiled, returning to his task. I couldn’t take much more and felt his hand travel up the center of my body as he pushed me down on my back to the cold countertop and I jumped in surprise.

  “You’re cold.”

  “Only my back. It’s a nice contrast to the heat of…” I didn’t finish my statement because I was fighting off another convulsion.

  “The heat of what, Cassidy?”

  His tongue was running along the band of my panties. I couldn’t even process coherent words. I’d never been tortured like this and didn’t know how much more I could take. I c
ried out in expectation and frustration.

  “Do you want me?” He asked the question as his teeth tugged on my panties and his hand helped slip them down my hips. I raised my backside to help him with his task. “Let’s see if you’re ready.”

  “God, yes I want you. I’m ready, James, please.” I couldn’t stop squirming under his gaze. I tried to pull him closer with my legs and heard him lightly chuckle.

  “Patience, Cassidy.”

  Every time he said my name like that I swear my clit throbbed a little more. I felt his gaze, down there, examining and my instinct was to close my legs.

  “Oh no you don’t. I want to see you. You’re open for me and so beautiful.” He planted a chaste kiss in my well-manicured curls. Before I had a chance to object, his fire hot tongue pierced my center and did one torturous lick upwards, ending at my clit.

  “Ohhhhh!” It was half groan half scream.

  “You’re ready.” He was panting as he abruptly stood and pulled me off the counter to meet his face. He threw my arms over his shoulders. “Hang on.”

  I bound my legs around his hips eager for him to thrust into me; he didn’t oblige. I cried out in despair as he walked across the suite, toward the bedroom, with me wrapped tightly around him.

  “Soon, baby. You deserve a proper fucking in a bed, not on a counter.”

  “The counter is fine for fucking.” His hands dug into my ass and yanked me closer as I sucked on his ear. He picked up his pace and I could feel his shaft bounce against my rear with each step he took. “You’re killing me, James.”

  “I’m not sure I’m the one doing the killing here, Cassidy.”

  Finally in the softly lit bedroom, he walked to the bed and pulled the folded quilt to the floor. Before I could stop him, he peeled me from his body and let me fall to the bed. The satin sheets beneath me were cool and felt wonderful. I stretched out and reveled in the feel of the sheets against my body.

  He started a slow crawl up the bed. Kneeling between my legs, he reached down and grabbed my calf. He lifted it up until my foot was in his palm, smiled wickedly at me before sucking my big toe into his mouth.

  I wasn’t prepared for this foreign act, but threw my head back enjoying the odd sensation. “Oh God, that feels good.”

  His mouth worked up my leg as his hands made their way to my hips. Soon his mouth was kissing my ribcage and breasts while his hands moved to mold the muscles in my neck. His face was above mine and I could feel his steel erection on my thigh. I tried shifting under his weight but he had me pinned to the bed.

  “James, if you don’t fuck me soon, so help me!” I didn’t even know what I meant by that statement.

  His hands were on each side of my head as he pushed himself up on his arms. He positioned his shaft to lay at my opening, wiggled and then looked at me alarmed. “You cuss like a sailor, you know that?” He was grinding on my pelvis, causing spasms that reached all the way down to my toes. “What will you do if I don’t fuck you soon, Cassidy?”

  I was dying from anticipation and lost for words. “I don’t know what I’ll do. You’re driving me mad.”

  “What did you mean then?” He placed tiny kisses all over my face.

  “Please, James, I need you inside me, now!” I grabbed his ass and dug my nails in. I got the groan of approval that I was looking for.

  He was beaming with pride now while I was blushing. I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine. He met my tongue and we were beyond hungry for each other.

  He whispered into my mouth, “Do you have any condoms?”

  I looked at him startled. “Shit.” I just brought an overnight bag and didn’t plan for any of that. “Let me check my purse.” He jumped off me and I got up to find my purse. Please let there be a condom in there. I was digging through my purse and checked the hidden zipper. SCORE! I’d never been so thankful to find a condom in my life.

  “Did you find one?” His arms went around me as he bit my neck. Where the hell did he come from? I didn’t even hear him leave the bed.

  I held the condom up in the air between us as he turned me to face him. He attacked my mouth only the way he could. Snatching the foil packet from me, he walked me backward to the bed. We fell back on the bed as he kissed me. Soon, he pulled back and we were both so out of breath we were damn near wheezing.

  “James, please.” He got up on his knees in an instant and ripped the condom from the wrapper. “Let me.” I took the condom from him and he tensed in response. I pulled myself up far enough to attend to my duty. He was quite large and I couldn’t wait for him to plummet into me.

  I placed the condom on the tip of his damp arousal, wrapped my hand around his shaft and looked up into his eyes. His cheeks were puffing as I slid the condom down in place and then pulled him to me.

  He steadied himself over me and I felt him at my entrance, closing my eyes to savor the moment.

  “Cassidy, look at me. I want to see your eyes.”

  As my eyes opened and focused on his he pushed the tip of his cock inside me. His eyes fluttered for a moment and I reached up to stroke his chest. He opened his eyes and they were that vibrant green again.

  “James, fuck me, now.” He drove all the way into me and I let out a scream. It was both pleasure and a tiny bit of pain. My nails gripped his arms, “You feel so good.”

  “Are you ok? I’m being careless.” He looked at me concerned.

  “I’m perfect. Please don’t stop!”

  He pulled out to the tip and slammed back in, barely giving me time to get accustomed to his size. He did this over and over again; I was nearly in tears because it felt so good. I wrapped my legs around his back as he dropped to his elbows and plunged his tongue into my mouth with the same force his cock was hammering into me.

  With his arms underneath me, I felt like I was floating above the bed. I was on a James fuck ride and I loved every second of it. His slick back forced me to tighten my hold. He showed no mercy and I began losing control as he started swiveling his hips. I gasped for breath as we were nose to nose.

  “James, you feel incredible…”

  “No baby, that’s you who feels incredible.”

  I flashed a quick smile as I threw my head back on another thrust. He started sucking and licking down my neck.

  “I’m so close, oh I never, oh God…”

  He picked his head up and looked slightly concerned. “You never what?”

  My head was spinning; I was so close. My whole body was a tensed up ball of sexual frustration. “I’ve. Never. Come. During. Intercourse.” Each word was a statement. Oh God, he was slowing down. I shrieked at him, “DON’T STOP!”

  “Don’t hold back, Cassidy. Hang on to me.”

  He pushed himself up slightly and the angle of his hips had his penis hitting my reclusive sweet spot. I didn’t think it was possible, probably because no one had ever managed to find it. I’d never felt like this; so full and ready to implode. I couldn’t reach around his back at that angle so I hooked my arms under and around his shoulders.

  He growled out, “You hanging on?”

  My barely audible voice whispered, “Yes.”

  He lost all abandon and started fucking me harder. I didn’t think he had ‘harder’ in him. I tightened my hold as the spasms got more frequent. I tensed around his shaft even tighter, which solicited a groan from him.

  “I’m so close…” Over and over again he pumped into me. I wouldn’t be able to walk the next day and I didn’t care. He swiveled and rocked and thrust. My body was ready, even though my soul wanted it to continue forever. “Don’t stop, oh, I’m going to come. James, please don’t stop.”

  “I’ll never stop, Cassidy. Come for me, baby.”

  Warm sensations shot out from my womb to the tips of my toes and the top of my head. I was moaning as my release overtook me. My thighs were locked so tight around him while I milked him. He dropped back down on top of me and quickened his pace. I threaded my hands in his hair and jerked his mouth to mine
.

  “You’re driving me crazy with that squeezing of yours,” he panted into my mouth.

  “That’s the point.” I smiled and tugged his hair, still coming down from my own high. “I want you to come.” My words seemed to set him off. He ferociously drove into me a couple more times as the convulsions took him over.

  “Fuck, oh God.”

  I ran my hands to his ass and squeezed as he shot his release. As the last few shudders left his body he collapsed on me. I loved the weight of him on me. I kissed his shoulder as he moved to leave my body and I grabbed onto him in protest.

  “I’ll crush you, Cassidy.”

  “I want to be crushed.” He snickered and rolled over while taking me with him keeping us joined. He caressed my back as I lay on top of him and listened to his heartbeat slow. “You’re amazing,” I stated as I circled my finger around his nipple.

  “You’re pretty amazing yourself. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

  “I don’t think so, but maybe you should examine me to find out.” I milked him again and he flinched before he chuckled.

  “Insatiable are we? What have I gotten myself into?” He was massaging my rear and ran his hands up to pull through my hair.

  “If it’s always like that, then yes. Insatiable.” I trailed my hand up and down his side as his hands started to do the same on my back.

  “You’ve really never had an orgasm during intercourse?”

  I couldn’t hold back the yawn and whispered, “You’re the first during intercourse.” He went to pull me off of him. “Please don’t go,” I softly breathed in his neck. I was dozing off as he gently separated our bodies.

  “I’m just getting the blanket. I’ll never leave you again, Blackbird.” He kissed the top of my head and pulled the satin comforter over my body. I saw him tie off and discard the condom before he crawled under the covers and pulled me back against him. I tangled my body with his and focused on his even breathing. It was the last thing I remember before sleep conquered me.