Trust (Blind Vows #1) Read online

  The song I had selected to walk down the aisle to, began to play. I wanted something different and chose History In The Making by Darius Rucker. The doors reopened and everyone standing blocked my view of my groom. My eyes drifted to the floor and then to my friends and family on my side of the aisle. The nerves were coursing fiercely through me and I was petrified to look at my groom or anyone on his side of the aisle. Finding my mother’s eyes, I expected to see her sad and instead she was ecstatic. Apparently I had been right. She was ready to be rid of me.

  My father took in a sharp breath and mumbled something under his breath. Darting my eyes to my groom, I froze in my tracks. What the ever living fuck?

  “Lucy, what’s going on?”

  I couldn’t breathe and I wanted to blame my tight dress, but knew the dress wasn’t that tight and had nothing to do with what I was experiencing. I looked to my mother and then over to the other side of the aisle. His family was just as excited as mine was. Was this a joke?

  “Lucy.” My father was trying to get my attention and tugged on my arm. “Lucy, is this a prank?”

  Shaking my head, I looked to my dad. “I, I don’t know.” This had to be a joke. There was no other explanation.

  I heard him say my name and looked to see him approaching my father and me. “Lucy.”

  Unlinking arms with my father, I took a step back and put my hand up. “Stop right there.” He did just that, the smile leaving his clean-shaven face. “What the FUCK is going on?”

  “Lucille Rose!” My mother chastised me, causing him to smirk at me.

  “Wipe that fucking grin off your face!” I totally forgot about the guests we both had in attendance and unleashed my fury at him. “You did this didn’t you? This is some sick prank. How much did it cost you? Is your brother in on this too?” I glanced to his side and they were all there, minus O who was on another tour of duty.

  “Lucy, I swear I didn’t know.”

  “You’re a liar!” I was beginning to hyperventilate and I wanted to hurt someone, anything. “You expect me to believe that line of bullshit?” He took another step closer. “Don’t you come near me Heathcliff Kerrigan!”

  ~ Chapter 9 ~

  Turning, I ran out of the chapel and down a back hall, aware of him and my father calling after me. Finding an empty conference room, I dropped my bouquet on the table and tried catching my breath. That summer invaded my memories once again, specifically that night as I fled his room after finding out he was Heath and not Will.

  “Explain what? You lied to me. Was it you all week?” I was shaking with the anger and sadness that coursed through me.

  It was then I picked up on the mannerisms of Heath and how they were different than William’s. His hair was disheveled—always—and he flexed his neck until it popped and his lips pursed. Now that I thought about it, I never saw these actions out of William.

  “It’s been me the past few days.” He moved a step closer and I put my hands up, warding him off.

  “Was this all a game to you? I don’t understand.” I turned my back to him, not wanting him to see any more of my tears.

  “Lucy, I, shit. I don’t know why I did it.”

  His hands touched my shoulders and I pulled away just as quick. I turned to see Will and who must’ve been his girlfriend walking over. She was a skank, I just knew it and I was totally jealous. They were oblivious to my predicament, or were they?

  “Aww, lovers quarrel?”

  “Shut up, Will.”

  I heard Will’s girlfriend ask how old I was and that just fueled my fire. “Old enough to know that Will deserves better than the likes of you!”

  She made a step toward me and I didn’t flinch, but Heath stepped between us as if I needed his protection. Will grabbed her hand and they wandered off before anything else could be said between her and me.

  “You might want to put a leash on her, Heath.” Will’s words just infuriated me more.

  Turning back to face me, he chastised me. “What’s wrong with you?”

  Shoving his chest as hard as I could, I screamed, “YOU!”

  “Lucy…”

  “Stop saying my name. You, you…” I couldn’t even finish my train of thought. I was beyond angry. “I need to go.”

  Stepping in front of me he pleaded, “We need to talk about this, us.”

  Scrunching my face up I screeched at him, “There is no US, therefore there’s nothing to talk about.” Motioning my hand between us I bit out, “This never happened. And you and your brother will NEVER fool me again.”

  He let me pass and I retreated to my bedroom. I had the smallest room in the house, but I was also the only one who had my own room. The perks of being the only girl in both families.

  I cried myself to sleep that night and wasn’t sure if it was because I knew Will was taken or because I felt like I’d betrayed them both. It was ridiculous to feel like I was the one who betrayed them. They betrayed me, not the other way around. The gravity of finding out that the whole time I thought Will was falling for me, I was actually with Heath. Was Heath really falling for me like he said or was it all part of the scam? I didn’t want to know. All I knew was that I detested Heath and the events of that week just solidified it.

  Seeing him over the years wasn’t something I could get out of. Our parents were best friends. I always put on a happy face and avoided Will and Heath like the plague. I also may have flaunted any boyfriend I had in front of them.

  The door flung open, pulling me back to reality. FUCK. How had I let him do this to me again? Had it even been Heath? He was clean shaven and that was typically William’s look. Shit! Turning, I saw that it was Stacey, not who I was expecting, but someone I preferred.

  “Lucy, what’s going on? When I walked down the aisle I was shocked. I thought maybe the two of you had this planned all along.”

  “I didn’t PLAN THIS.” Pacing the floor and wringing my hands together I began rambling. “How, why, I don’t understand. What did I ever do to him to deserve this?”

  Stacey walked over and tried consoling me with a hug, but sat down when I refused her. “Lucy, before you walked down the aisle he was radiating joy. I know I don’t know him that well, but I don’t think he planned this. Your mom and his mom were talking across the aisle, both so happy and surprised.”

  Scoffing, “Of course our mothers are happy. They’ve wanted me married to one of the boys since before my conception.” Stacey chuckled and I glared at her.

  “Lucy, can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  She took a deep breath, then asked, “What happened between the two of you all those months ago?”

  I spit out, “Nothing,” before she was finished asking.

  “Umm, bullshit.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Lucy, I’ve known you long enough to know that something happened. You know I don’t care, just tell me. Maybe it’ll help.”

  Turning away from her I found a chair and sat in it. Looking out the window I started talking. She knew I disliked Heath, but didn’t know about that summer I turned sixteen, and I wasn’t going to tell her now. “That night he walked us home we almost ended up in bed together.” I left it at that. No one needed to know that I let him blow his load in my mouth like a five dollar hooker.

  “Almost? I thought for sure…”

  “No. He said I was like a sister to him and then we fell asleep on the couch together.”

  “Wait, you’re like a sister to him, but he stayed the night? I’m confused.”

  “How the fuck do you think I felt?”

  “Jesus. So nothing else happened after that?”

  Groaning, I confessed, “The night we were at the bar and him and all his brothers showed up…”

  “Yes, I remember. You left with Jaime.”

  “Yes because we almost did it again in the alley, then Will saw, and I left and he showed up on my doorstep, begging me for a second chance.”

  “Will saw! Saw what?�
�� Stacey looked as confused as I felt. “Second chance at what?”

  Ignoring her first question, I answered the second. “We kind of had a thing when we were teenagers. It’s complicated.”

  She jumped up out of her chair, “I knew it!”

  “What the fuck do you mean you ‘knew it’?”

  “Everyone knows you dislike each other, but it’s more than that. You two have like unrequited love for one another or some shit.”

  “Uh, or some shit. Believe me, there’s nothing unrequited about it.”

  Gasping, she proclaimed, “You’re in love with him!”

  “’Da fuck? I am NOT!”

  Jaime walked in and added, “I think thou doth protest too much.”

  I wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing there, but clearly long enough. “Shut up.”

  She smiled at me and sat down next to me. “Lucy, he didn’t know. He’s outside and wants to talk to you. He told me he had no idea. I believe him.”

  “He who? I’m not even sure if it was Will or Heath.”

  “Who do you want it to be? What does your gut tell you?”

  “Heath. It was Heath.” They smiled and nodded. “But, he can’t be my match. We hate each other.”

  They both said it in unison and giggled, “There’s a thin line between love and hate.”

  “Fuck off!”

  “Lucy?” All our eyes whipped to the door where Heath stood. “Can I talk to you? Please?” His voice was low and I hated how my body reacted to it, to him.

  Without saying two words to me, Stacey and Jaime left the room. Traitors. I turned my chair slightly, resting my elbows on the table. My head was pounding and I began massaging my temples. I heard the leather of the chair exhale as he sat down in the chair closest to me.

  “Lucy,” I moved my eyes to his and waited for him to speak. “The experiment brought us both here. I promise.”

  “I don’t believe you.” My voice cracked and the tears pinpricked my eyes. How could he do this to me? “How could you do this to me?”

  Pulling my hands from my temples, he wrapped his large hands around mine. “When I saw you walking down the aisle, I couldn’t have been happier. To have you as my wife… I can’t explain to you how happy that makes me.”

  Searching his eyes, I knew in my heart he was telling the truth, but I couldn’t wrap my emotions around it all. I couldn’t marry him. “Heath, I can’t marry you.”

  His head jerked back slightly, but he never let go of my hands. “Why not?” I didn’t have a response and he asked another question. “You're here because the experiment revealed your match, right? How could I have anything to do with that?"

  “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “No it’s not. It’s the best surprise.”

  “What do you mean? You hate me and the feeling is mutual. I’m like a sister to you. It’s bordering on incest.”

  Chuckling, he asked, “You really think that’s how I feel about you?”

  Sighing, “Think? You said it yourself all those months ago.”

  “Lucy, you were drunk. I wasn’t going to have you that way, but you were so determined to make it happen. Like a douchebag I let you get me off then I freaked. I said the only thing I thought would get you to stop.”

  “You’re an idiot.”

  “Yes, we all know this. And your sass is probably going to kill me.” I tried holding back the smile as I shook my head at him. “But I’d die happy.” I rolled my eyes at him. “When you turned me down, told me you were spoken for…Wait, so was that all a ruse?”

  “I’d just applied for the program. I didn’t think it would be fair to start something with you when I’d already committed.” Prying a hand away, I wiped the drying tears that lingered under my eyes.

  “Here.” He handed me the decorative handkerchief from his lapel and I spotted the cuff links I’d purchased, solidifying it even more for me.

  “Cuff links.” I couldn’t muster anything else.

  “‘Stay calm and say I do’. Really, Lucy?” I just shrugged my shoulders. After I handed his handkerchief back to him he said, “Perfect.” His fingers moved to hold the anchor hanging from my neck. “I meant what I said in that card.” We sat in silence for a minute or two when he said, “So, let’s do this.”

  I snorted and narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re out of your mind.”

  “If I’m out of my mind then so are you. I’ve known you my whole life.”

  “Exactly! Hold up. So, when did you apply to the program?” He started to talk and then I stopped him, “Wait, I don’t think I want to know.”

  “Lucy, you don’t get it.”

  “Get what?”

  Taking my hands in his again, he confided in me, “I’ve wanted you since that summer. Don’t you know that by now?”

  The tears started again. “You had a funny way of showing it. You’ve had ten years to come and get me. Why didn’t you come and get me?”

  “Lucy,” he moved closer, knees flanking mine, and pulled me to his chest. I let him hold me as he whispered, “Please have faith. They paired us together for a reason.”

  “More as a joke. All we do is fight. And you gave up on us. You could be marrying a stranger right now.”

  Sighing, “I never gave up. I just, you’re like the unattainable dream.” I tried to say something and he shushed me. “As to the fighting…” he sighed, “…silly Lucy. I fight with you because I can’t seem to reach you any other way. There’s no one else I’d rather fight with.”

  I asked what I’d wanted to know for ten years. “What really happened that summer?”

  “What didn’t happen that summer? I fell in love with the one girl I didn’t want to fall in love with.” I stiffened at his words and pulled back. As if he knew I doubted his confession, he said it again. “I fell in love with you that summer, Lucy. And then like a dumbass I let you walk away from me.”

  “After you broke my heart.”

  “I didn’t think you cared.”

  “Me either.”

  He nodded, “I know. I should’ve told you it was me from the beginning. But would you have given me a chance? You were so consumed with Will…” He didn’t finish. “He’s the one who sees you as a sister, not me.”

  “I, I don’t know. We’ll never know. We can’t know.”

  “Don’t you know? We can know.”

  “I looked for you, every week, at the bar. You were never there anymore.”

  “I knew you’d be there. I couldn’t handle the risk of seeing you there with him. Now I know that he never really existed.”

  He stroked my face with his hands and I closed my eyes. His scent was swarming around me and then his lips were on mine. Gripping his lapels, all I could smell was his cinnamon breath and I licked at the seam of his mouth. Groaning, he tried getting closer to me, but my dress made it almost impossible. Hands circled around me, grasping my bare shoulders. His fingers gently moved back and forth as goosebumps formed on my body.

  Heath pulled us to our feet, the height difference became more evident. His erection pressed into my belly as I let my tongue glide over his. I couldn’t deny my body’s reaction to him. I wanted him. It was purely physical. My hand moved to his face, moving over his recently shaved jawline.

  “You shaved. Why?”

  Smiling at me, he kissed my nose and said, “I don’t know. I haven’t kept a beard since that night in the alley. You like it?”

  Shaking my head, I said, “No, I prefer the scruff.”

  “Noted.”

  He started kissing along my jaw and down my neck. I couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped my lips. “Heath.” Without thought, my hand traveled to his pants and his cock. Palming him through the suit pants, he pulsed in my hand and dropped his head to my shoulder, biting down gently.

  “Lucy.”

  “Sorry to interrupt.”

  I jumped out of his arms and turned to see my father standing there. “Jesus Christ.”

&n
bsp; My dad was embarrassed, but played it cool. “Should I tell them the wedding is still on? People are asking.”

  Shaking my head, I started to talk when Heath interjected. “We just need a couple more minutes.”

  My dad smiled at us both and left the room. Turning back to Heath, “We can’t.”

  “We can!”

  “No, we can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know if I can trust you.” There it was. That word again. Trust.

  Pulling me close and dropping his forehead against mine, he pleaded. “I need you to trust me. Fate keeps throwing you in my path for a reason. We’re supposed to be together. I feel it in the deepest parts of me. Let me make this right.”

  “Heath, I...” His brown eyes searched my blue ones. “I’m scared.”

  “I’m scared, too. Please, trust me. I’ll never hurt you again, Lucy.” He dropped down on one knee in front of me and took my left hand in his. “I want you. I want us. Lucy, marry me.”

  I had entered into this experiment planning to marry my match, who was supposed to be a total stranger. Heath was anything but. But he was my match? I had to stay true to myself, but could I really continue with this experiment and pray for the best?

  Conflicting emotions made my stomach churn. I didn't know what to do. My head and heart were both so confused. But I knew I had to say something, had to do something. Stroking his cheek, I was ready to give him my answer. I had to be able to trust more than just him; I had to learn to trust myself.

  Will Lucy say yes?

  Honor: Blind Vows

  Part 2: Heath’s POV

  Releasing May 20, 2015

  Playlist

  Hollow Moon (Bad Wolf) by Awolnation

  Me & U by Cassie

  Believe by Mumford & Sons

  The Words by Christina perri

  Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor

  History In The Making by Darius Rucker

  More from J.M. Witt

  The Anchored Hearts Series

  Letting Go (Vol. 1) *

  Hiding Away (Vol. 1.5) *