Fading Away (Anchored Hearts #2.5) Read online

  Fading Away

  Anchored Hearts

  Vol. 2.5

  By: J.M. Witt

  Fading Away (Anchored Hearts Vol. 2.5)

  Copyright © 2014 J.M. Witt

  All rights reserved.

  This book may not be reproduced in any form; in whole or in part, without written permission by the author.

  All characters and events in this book are fictional. Any similarities to real life people and events are purely coincidental.

  First Printing, 2014

  ISBN: 978-0692287798

  Cover Artist: Kellie Dennis at Book Cover by Design

  Photographer: Shelton Cole

  Model: Paul Blake

  Photographer: Traci Kusina

  Model: Jennie Dare

  Publisher: J.M. Witt Books

  Copyright © 2014 J.M. Witt

  All Rights Reserved 2014

  ISBN: 978-0692287798

  Acknowledgments

  Rick: Nice try! Telling my fans that everyone dies. Not everyone dies. Geesh!

  D, A, E, T: I hope one day you understand why Mommy spends so much time on the laptop. My hard work isn’t only for me, but for you, too!

  To my friends: Keep reading and spreading the word. I’m forever grateful to you!

  Paul: Thank you for joining me on this journey. By the time you read this, we will have finally met in person! I apologize now for any fan-girl giggles that may escape my lips! I look forward to working with you in the future.

  Shelton & Traci: What can I say that I haven’t already said? Thank you for all you’ve done for me. It’s greatly appreciated.

  Kellie: You did it AGAIN! Thank you. Love this cover.

  Betsy: Thank you for putting up with me. It’s a relief knowing that I can come to you, anytime, and you’re ready to help, listen, plot, etc.

  The Betas: Rebecca, Tracey, Elaine, Tami, Betsy, Melanie, Letty, Jessica, and Lisa. Thank you. I know I was pushing the deadline on this one and you came through for me. I’ll try not to make a habit out of it!

  Letty and Jessica: You saved this book! I hate commas, clearly. Lol. Heart you hard!

  Anchored Hearts ST: Without your support, I wouldn’t be where I am. Love you, girls!

  Tyf: It’s true, we share a brain. Thank you for ALWAYS being there for me. You know how to make me laugh and I know I can lean on you when needed.

  Skye: I love you long time. You know why. Thank you.

  Christine: Thank you for taking me on as one of your girls. Your guidance is needed and appreciated! I look forward to a long and beautiful partnership.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Epilogue

  Playlist

  Chapter One

  ~ JANE ~

  I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand soothing my back. Looking up I found James staring back at me. He looked like he had been crying and the sight of it ripped the hole in me even bigger. I started hyperventilating. He let me cry my fill and didn’t say a word.

  “It’s all my fault. I should’ve said yes, I wanted to say yes. But I-I r-ran instead.” James just consoled me and let me get out what I needed to. “I can’t make it w-without him, James. I just c-can’t. It hurts, it hurts so much. Please make it stop.”

  He placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me an arm’s length away. “Jane, you need to relax, you’re both going to be fine.”

  Shaking his hands off me I stood and stepped away from him. “I’m not going to be f-fine. The love of my life is d-dead, he’s dead, and it’s all because of me.”

  “Jane, Cal isn’t dead.” He stood then and pulled me off the bench.

  “Yes he is. I saw the doctors pull his family into the grieving room and so did you. He’s g-gone and I’m the one who killed him.” James was looking at me like he was contemplating what I had said as I kept rambling. “It’s just like with Jason. I kept quiet about the drug use too long. If I’d told mom and dad maybe he’d still be here. If I’d just told Calvin about Derek this wouldn’t have happened. Cal would’ve protected me, been prepared.”

  “Jane, Calvin made it through surgery.”

  “But, I…the resident said to prepare for the worst.”

  “Jane, he made it. He’s in really rough shape, but he made it. They said the next twenty four hours will be the most critical.”

  I took a couple deep breaths trying to process his words as my chin began to tremble. Burying my face in my hands I burst into obnoxious sobs like a simpering child. Years of fear, regret, hurt, and loss racked their way through my body. When I got it together, barely, I pulled away from James and wiped the tears from my face.

  “I have to see him.”

  James grabbed my hand and led the way up to ICU. We were at the desk, fighting with the nurse to see Cal, when I saw Cassidy step out of a room. She spotted us instantly and I saw the relief wash over her at the sight of James. She rushed over to us as we ignored the nurse’s protests about the number of visitors allowed.

  We sat down in an adjoining waiting room and Cassidy filled us in as best she could. He was on a ventilator, but they were hopeful he’d be off of it soon, if he made it through the next twenty four hours. It was a miracle alone that Cal had pulled through surgery.

  “Can I see him?”

  “Yes, I’ll put you on the list. They’re monitoring him closely, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”

  I knew the strict policy the hospital had, especially for ICU. Family only and any other visitors had to be approved by the family. After Cassidy talked to the front desk, I made my way into his room. I’d seen this scenario a dozen times, doing several rotations in the trauma unit and ICU floors, during nursing school. But I wasn’t prepared to see Cal that way. He was extremely pale, IVs coming out of both arms and machines beeping their own familiar rhythms.

  The weight of the day’s events suddenly dropped on my shoulders like a ton of bricks. It was all I could do to stand any longer. I pulled a chair to the side of his bed and collapsed in it. The faint rays of dawn were becoming visible through the closed blinds. Placing his hand in mine, I dropped my head to the bed.

  When I woke, I realized I had been asleep for several hours. I glanced around the room to find Dave asleep in a chair by the door. Cal looked the same. I heard the door open and turned to see a familiar face. Her name was Jessica and we’d gone through nursing school together. We weren’t close during nursing school, but we got along fine.

  “I heard you were back in town.” She smiled sweetly before changing out an IV bag and checking the routine things she was supposed to.

  “You heard right. How long have you been up here?” Last I had heard she was working in the ER.

  “A couple years now. You still working in NICU?”

  I nodded. “Been back upstairs for about six weeks now.” I ran my hands over my face and was instantly reminded of the swelling and injuries to my face. I could only imagine how I looked to her.

  “You don’t have to work tonight do you? Looks like you could use some rest too.”

  “Sylvia gave me the week off and told me to keep her posted.” Dave started to rouse and we both quieted down.

  Whispering she
asked, “Who’s the hottie?” She motioned toward Cal and I couldn’t help but smile. “I wouldn’t have pictured you with, well…”

  “A tatted up cop? You and me both. He’s incredible.” My voice grew shaky as I brought my hand to my mouth to try to get myself under control. She came over and rubbed a hand on my shoulder.

  “He did really well through the night, better than we could’ve hoped or expected. I’ll be here to keep an eye on him for the rest of the day. You should go home and get some rest and something to eat.”

  “I don’t know. They said that the first twenty four hours were the most critical. I’d never forgive myself if something happened and I wasn’t here.”

  “Jane, you got a strong one there. If he’s as incredible as you say he is, he’d want you to take care of yourself. You’ve been through a trauma too.”

  Sniffing, “Ok, I know you’re right. Can you please call or text me if there’s any change?”

  “Sure, what’s your number?”

  I searched in my pockets, so I could store her number in my phone, and realized I didn’t have my purse, phone or anything with me. After giving Jessica my number I headed to the elevators.

  As the doors opened, I saw Cassidy and James staring back at me. James took in my appearance as Cassidy asked if everything was ok with Cal. I assured her Cal was as good as to be expected, that I was just exhausted. I asked if I could borrow James for a moment. He kissed Cassidy on the forehead before she walked toward Cal’s room.

  “Jane, what’s going on?”

  “I’m just wrecked. I need to go home. Did you get a hold of mom and dad yet?” Mom and Dad had already flown out when all the chaos commenced the day prior.

  “They’re flying back and should be home later tonight or tomorrow. I can drive you. Where do you want me to take you?”

  “Um, I…I don’t know where my purse or phone are. My keys are in there.”

  He reached in his pocket and handed me my phone. “You left it at my parents place along with your purse. It’s in my truck. But your car is still at your parents. We got Cal’s truck back home this morning. I can drop you off at your place, so you can rest, and I’ll get Smith to help me get your car back to you by this evening.”

  “Thank you. Ok. I don’t think I can go to mom and dad’s right now, not with what happened.”

  As he drove me back to Cal’s I dozed off. When I woke up, we were pulling in the drive. My heart began to race and my hands grew sweaty. I didn’t want to be alone at Cal’s. “Will you come in with me?” It was our place now, had been for a while and I needed to get that through my head. He was willing to die for me and me for him.

  James looked to me, “I’m such an idiot. Of course.”

  I handed him the keys out of my purse and he opened the door. It felt so foreign walking into our place without Cal. I lived there, but would he still want me when he woke up? If he woke up? James seemed to understand my trepidation and searched the place before he gave me the all clear.

  “Is there anything I can get you?”

  I shook my head, “No. I just want to sleep.”

  “I’ll be here.”

  Nodding, I walked up the stairs to our room. Starting to undress, I had planned to take a shower, but couldn’t resist sitting on the bed. I looked at the clock on the bedside table and saw it was already late afternoon. Grabbing his pillow, I buried my face in it and laid down. His scent was there and I fell asleep with his aroma floating above me like a halo.

  ~~~~

  When I woke, I was incredibly sore. My whole body ached and in places I didn’t want to think about. I rolled over realizing my shoes were off and a blanket was covering me. I was shocked at the time. Had a whole day really passed? My cell phone was on the nightstand, on the charger and it verified that I had indeed slept for almost twenty four hours.

  I began to panic. I leapt out of bed faster than my body wanted me to and cursed myself as the aches seared my body. Frantically I pulled on some jeans and checked my phone again. All the missed calls from Cal, James and Derek, from two days ago, were there, along with several missed texts. There was one I didn’t recognize and I opened it immediately.

  It was from Jessica. According to the time stamp, she sent it at the end of her shift last night. I swore my heart almost stopped as I read her words. Relief flooded me as I digested her text. Cal was doing well, but he was still unconscious and on the vent.

  Hurrying down the stairs, I found James on the couch scrolling through his phone.

  “You’re finally awake. How are you feeling?”

  “I’m ok. You should’ve woken me. Is he ok? Is there any word.”

  “Calm down. There’s been no change. If something had changed I would’ve woken you. You needed rest.” I ran my hands through my hair, not sure what to do first. “Hey. He’s going to be fine. Go take a shower and I’ll make you something to eat and then we can head to the hospital.”

  “Ok. Thank you.” I hugged him before making my way back upstairs.

  Stepping into the bathroom, I looked at my reflection and took a shaky breath as my eyes met my image in the mirror. I removed the bandage, revealing my swollen and bruised left eye, from which I could barely see, and examined the stitches. I jumped as the gunshot rang through the air of my memory. Derek was gone. James had killed him. I wouldn’t have to worry about Derek any longer. Cal was my only concern.

  James. How was he handling killing a man? I had to make sure he was ok and that the cops knew it was self-defense. I let the water run over me as I tried to hurry and be mindful of my injuries. The water ran red for a short time as I worked the matted blood out of my hair.

  When I had dressed and made my way downstairs, James was on his phone. The smell of food filled the air and my ravenous stomach took over. He’d made grilled cheese and tomato soup, one of my favorite quick and easy meals. I took a bite out of a sandwich as I found a thermos to pour the soup in. I wasn’t going to hang out at home any longer. I had to get to Cal.

  “Jane, I hate to do this, but I have to run to the office. Will you be ok driving?”

  “It’s ok. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I should be able to manage.”

  “Your mom and dad are back. They’re headed to the hospital and will meet you there.”

  “Ok. James. What you did? How did you know?”

  “I had a bad feeling, Jane. Honestly, I spotted your cell and started snooping. We don’t need to talk about it.”

  He tried to turn away, but I grabbed his forearm. “James, you killed a man for me and if I had been honest with everyone from the beginning…Well, I’m sorry.”

  “Jane, you don’t have anything to be sorry for. But there’s something you need to know.”

  My eyes narrowed at him as I shook my head, “What is it?”

  “Derek’s alive.” I didn’t hear anything else he said as fear slammed into me. I couldn’t breathe and the room began to spin. “Jane, sit down. He won’t hurt you anymore. He’s in a coma and cuffed to the bed as a precaution. Jane?” I just nodded as he pulled me close. “I promise you. He will not hurt you anymore. I’ll make sure of it.” As much as I wanted Derek dead, I didn’t want James to live with the guilt of it.

  A few minutes later we were standing outside as I climbed into my car. “James, I’ll be fine. I’ll text you when I get there.”

  “Alright. I’ll see you soon.” He closed my door as I started the engine and he got in his truck and drove away.

  I called Cassidy before I made my way to the hospital and apologized profusely for missing so much, explaining that I’d fallen asleep. She understood and after getting orders from everyone, I picked up coffee and snacks on the way.

  I situated the coffee in my passenger seat and then myself in the driver’s seat, but couldn’t stand the silence or my thoughts running amock in my head any longer. I pushed play on my iPod and continued to hit ‘next’ until I found something I wanted to hear. I stopped on Running Up That Hi
ll by Placebo.

  I replayed it over and over, louder than necessary, the entire drive to the hospital. The tears ran down my cheeks, but the sobs were long gone. For the time being, anyway. I’d have given anything to trade places with Cal. I was the one who should have been laying in that hospital bed, not him.

  Walking into his hospital room, I found Dave and Cassidy chatting quietly before they spotted me. I handed them their coffee and a bag of pastries which they were grateful for.

  “You look so much better.” Dave was teasing me, while also being sincere.

  “What are you trying to say?” I was genuinely feeling better, but still very sore. I’d removed the bandage on my eye and replaced it with a smaller one, though the bruises looked worse now than they did two days ago. “Any new updates?” I noticed the ventilator was still in place, Cal still not awake.

  “The doctors aren’t sure when he’ll wake up. They say it’s just a matter of time.”

  “But everything looks normal?” Cassidy and Dave nodded before saying their goodbyes. They had stayed with him all night and day and were headed back to Cassidy’s place to shower and rest. I took my position next to his bedside and placed his hand in mine.

  I was playing with his fingers, memorizing every line, callus, and knuckle when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked to see that my mom and dad had arrived. I wasn’t sure how long they’d been there watching me as I watched Cal.

  Standing, I hugged her and she held on a little longer than usual, but I couldn’t blame her. “Mom, I’m alright. I’m going to be ok, as long as he pulls through, I’ll be just fine.”

  “I love you, Jane.”

  “I love you too, Mom.” She released me and Dad then pulled me to him.

  “Janey, I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

  “I’m sorry.” My voice cracked as the tears came again. I was embarrassed and ashamed, knowing I shouldn’t have been.

  “Don’t be. I’m sorry we didn’t pick up on all the signs.” Dad kissed my head as he said, “I blame myself. I’ve spent too long on the road and away from my girls.”

  “Dad, this isn’t your fault. Derek had us all fooled. I never thought he’d go to such extremes.”