Letting Go of You (Anchored Hearts #2) Page 3

“That’s almost impossible to do when you look at me that way.” I wrapped an arm around her and dug my hand into her back pocket.

  “What way is that?”

  “Like you want me to take you over my knee, again.”

  “I will neither confirm nor deny that, at least not now.” She winked at me before jumping on my back as we headed into a mass of trees in the opposite direction as Cal and Jane.

  As we walked I remembered our latest visit to the club. We’d gone a couple more times and I had a spanking bench put in our room. Cassidy was apprehensive at first, but enjoyed it greatly. My palms were again aching to caress her ass.

  “That way.” She pointed her hand out in front of me, pulling me from my memories of her alabaster ass in the air and marked red by my hand. I walked on for another thirty yards or so and felt her slide down my back. “That one!”

  She was pointing at a tree that was way too big for her townhouse. I was taking in its size when I said, “Cassidy, it won’t fit. Why don’t…” At that moment her snow covered glove smashed into my face.

  I spit the snow from my mouth and wiped my eyes, blinking the snow out of them. “You little devil! Feeling brave are you?”

  She was quite pleased with herself; lips pressed together tight as her eyes sparkled with humor. I didn’t move, waiting for her next move. We stood there like that, for a bit longer than I knew she was comfortable with, as the heat grew between us. I took a step toward her and she took two back.

  “What’s the matter, Blackbird?” Her eyes opened wide and she gasped while pointing behind me. I looked back and found nothing. Rotten sneak! She had fooled me again. I turned to find she had run off. “Someone is most definitely missing the bench.”

  I began walking in the direction she ran off in and loaded up with a snowball. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d played in the snow. Probably hadn’t since Jason, Jane and I were teens. Walking a few more feet, I tried looking for fresh tracks, but the light snowfall from earlier made it difficult. It was then that I was hit in the back. I turned and launched my snowball at her. She was already running and my snowball grazed her shoulder. I took off after her and it wasn’t long before I caught up to her.

  “You won’t get far with me running after you, Cassidy.” She looked back and was surprised to see me so close. Her fatal flaw was trying to pick up more snow. I swiped her up and around the waist before I began tickling her.

  “Okay, okay, I give!” She was panting from exertion as I set her on her feet. She turned to face me, grinning ear to ear. “I love you.”

  Hearing her say it tugged at me, filled me up and knocked me flat on my back. I didn’t deserve her, but was glad to have her and determined to keep her. “I love you.” She took hold of my coat and pulled my lips to hers for a quick peck, but I couldn’t let her go.

  As she pulled away, my hands found the back of her neck and held her tight against me. Kissing down her neck, I rubbed my rough whiskers against her delicate skin as she cooed in my ear. I felt the shiver run through her as I quickly took in my surroundings. We were alone. There was a wood fence a few feet behind her that was surrounded by a copse of trees. I started walking and she didn’t hesitate to walk backwards, trusting me implicitly. I pulled my coat off and laid it on the fence.

  “James you’ll freeze.”

  “I’ll be fine.” I pulled away from her and tested the sturdiness of the fence. It was old but I determined that it should hold. I leaned my ass against it and pulled her between my legs. The tree behind us was brushing against my back as she began sucking on my neck. She jumped when my cold fingers skimmed her belly as I undid her jeans.

  “James?”

  “Cassidy?”

  She pulled back and quickly looked around before gazing at me again. “There could be families wandering around.”

  “It’s late, there are no kids out. I’ll be quiet.”

  Snickering she said, “I’m not worried about you being quiet.”

  My hands worked their way into her jeans and then her panties. “See, you’re already wet for me, love.” She tried to keep a straight face as I rubbed circles at her opening before slipping a finger inside. It was then that she gasped, grabbing my shirt and then buried her face in my neck.

  I moved her hair aside with my free hand and returned to nuzzling her neck. It wasn’t long before she was rocking back and forth, on my now two fingers that occupied her, as my palm rubbed her clit. “James…” She was sucking on my ear, panting obscenities, and fumbling with my zipper. The cold air assaulted me right before her warm hand encircled me. “Mine, you’re all mine.” She stroked me until I pulsed in her hand, growing larger.

  “Cassidy. Let me please you first.”

  “Kiss me.”

  She opened her mouth to me as my tongue made itself at home there. I was rougher with my kiss than I planned, but she only moaned and clenched around my fingers tighter. I pushed in deeper, knowing what she needed, as her kiss became panicked; the only sign I needed.

  “Come for me.”

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  It was his thing, what he liked to say and within a few moments I was always coming. James knew me better than I knew myself. He let me lose control and I was beginning to understand that he loved making me lose control. It was his mission. His fingers worked me over and soon I began to cry out. Pressing his lips to mine, so that he could swallow my moans, I greedily sucked on his tongue as the ripples washed over me.

  I broke the kiss and dropped my head to his chest, inhaling his scent as I caught my breath. My hand was still wrapped around him and I became aware of it when I felt him pulse. Lifting my head, I took in my surroundings seeing and hearing no one. Damn the wet knees. I dropped down and circled his sweet and salty tip with my tongue. His hand immediately fisted in my hair and I took him into my mouth.

  Fisting his base, my other hand ran up and down his thigh before circling around to the back of his leg. His thighs were clenched so tight that I was convinced he’d get a cramp as I noticed his feet were digging into the ground. I sucked him in as far as I could and heard him groan out my name. I was vaguely aware of my knees turning cold, but nothing was going to stop me from getting him off. Sucking and twirling my tongue with more vigor, he was soon bursting down my throat as his other hand fisted my hair as well. When he started to relax I stood up and took in my soaked knees and hoped no one would notice.

  I watched as he tucked himself back in his pants and I buttoned my own. He pulled me tight against him and I was aware of the fence creaking right before James fell backward, almost taking me with him. He landed on his back and I burst into laughs.

  “Oh my God, James, are you okay?” I watched as he got to his feet and brushed off some snow.

  “Fan-fucking-tastic. Nothing like almost having a heart attack to ruin a good high.”

  He was climbing over the rail, which had fallen out of its post, and shaking out his coat that was now covered in twigs and snow. Once he replaced the rail I proceeded to pull some of the twigs from his hair before he put his coat back on. He was straightening my hair when we both started cracking up.

  “We need to find a tree before Cal and Jane form a search party.”

  “Agreed.” He kissed my nose and swatted my ass before pulling me back toward the trees.

  James was dragging our tree behind him as we made our way to the front of the lot. Jane and Cal were there and James joined Cal at the register. It was then I spotted another twig tangled in James’ hair. Jane must have seen it too because she scanned her eyes over my body and stopped when she got to my soaked knees. If I was wearing darker jeans it might not have been so noticeable. I was humiliated when I realized that she knew that I knew she knew. She started chuckling uncontrollably.

  “What’s so funny?” Cal didn’t seem to notice what Jane had as he glanced back to us.

  Jane winked at me as she said, “Nothing, nothing at all.”

  ~<>~<>~<>~

  We were sitting at dinn
er when Cal let it slip that Jane had moved in with him. Initially I was shocked, since they’d only been together for a little over a month, but ultimately I was very happy for them.

  “What?” I looked to James, who seemed surprised as well, and then back to Cal and Jane. He was beaming and she seemed a little embarrassed.

  Cal put up his hands saying, “I know, I know. But the heart wants what the heart wants.” He wrapped his arms around Jane’s shoulders, crushing her small body against his. It was endearing as she started laughing.

  Then part of me became envious. I hadn’t realized how serious my brother was about Jane. He’d never taken this step with anyone else. We had enjoyed the rest of our meal and had a great time like we usually did. I loved how well the four of us got along. Once we were finished, we all walked outside to say our goodbyes. Jane seemed startled by something across the street, but had told James it was nothing.

  Later that night, as he and I lay in bed at my place, we were discussing some of our favorite Christmas memories. He was nuzzling my belly when I whispered, “You have a key, you should just move in.” He became very still and didn’t say anything. Shit. “James?” He went back to kissing my torso and I sat up and pulled away from him. He was trying to distract me, which wasn’t difficult to do.

  “Cassidy, we’re not ready for that.”

  “What do you mean? You have a key and we spend almost every night together, most of them here.” He got off the bed and started pulling on his clothes. “What are you doing?”

  “Leaving.”

  “What! Why?” He didn’t respond. “You can’t sit and discuss this with me? What’s going on?”

  “I’ve got a lot going on that doesn’t involve you.” I flinched at his harshness. His words cut me and I felt the wall go up. Laying back down I pulled the covers with me. “Cassidy.”

  “Don’t. Just go. It’s what you’re good at.”

  A few moments later I heard the front door close as Chessa curled up in bed with me. I regretted my words the minute they’d left my mouth, but it was true. He had nightmares now and then, he didn’t’ think I knew, and that was just on the occasional nights he remained with me all night. I was beginning to wonder if he was hiding something from me. Why did he always leave and what were his nightmares about?

  Chapter 4 ~Boudoir

  ~ JAMES ~

  I knew I shouldn’t have left, but I didn’t know what else to do. Moving in with her would just bring more publicity her way. Publicity which she didn’t want and couldn’t handle; at least that’s what I told myself. I loved her, but moving in together was a huge step. I knew it was a step toward forever for her. Forever wasn’t something I knew how to do. I knew she was the only one I wanted, but forever was a long time. Melissa used to love talking about forever too.

  I was also worried about Jane. Not because she moved in with Cal, though that wasn’t like her to move so suddenly, but she seemed on edge the past few days. That night, in the parking lot, she looked like she’d seen a ghost. I had to get Smith to look into Derek and make sure he was still in California. I had a feeling Jane was hiding what had really happened between them. When I made it to the hotel, I shed my clothes and headed straight for my workout room to release my tension.

  ~<>~<>~<>~

  Monday morning Smith walked in to my office and took a seat as I finished my phone call. “Yes, the usual will do. Thank you.” I set the phone down and looked to Smith. “Any news?”

  “He hasn’t used his credit cards for any purchases. In fact, they’re all maxed out. He seems to be hurting financially.”

  “Did Jane keep her money separate from him?”

  “It looks like she switched over all of her accounts, her trust included, back in June. I’m not sure what’s going on with him.”

  “And Dan?”

  “Nothing new. He’s laying low, but Annie and I haven’t been able to get any more information. A buddy of mine is looking into the cold case files as well, but he covered his tracks well.”

  “Alright. Thanks, man. Paul should be arriving later today. Can you pick him up at the airport? He’ll be staying at the property on Rushmore.”

  “It’ll be great having the crew back together. You’re confident he can handle the project for you?”

  “He can handle it. It’ll be nice working with someone who knows what he’s doing.” I nodded at Smith as another call came in and he made his exit.

  I spent the rest of the day going over paperwork for various projects. Cassidy didn’t call all day. I wasn’t sure if she was just being stubborn or if she knew forever was too much to talk about. I’d put the house on the back burner and I needed another body to help get the work done. That’s why I had recruited Paul. We met in the Army and his family was in construction. We were thick as thieves in the Army, and for a few years after. He’d moved down south a few years back, working on a project for his father’s company. That project was over. The timing was perfect.

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  Another bouquet full of peonies sat atop my desk. There was no card, which mildly annoyed me. He couldn’t even bother to apologize for leaving so brusquely the other night. Work was relatively slow since all the Holiday parties were planned and in order. There was a rap on my door and I looked up to see Cecily poke her head in.

  “Are you busy?” I shook my head as she closed the door before sitting down across from me. “I wanted to talk to you about your future here at B & C.”

  Oh shit, was I getting canned? “I’m all ears.”

  “I’m planning to retire in the coming months. I’ve been looking for my replacement for some time now.” She looked to me and I nodded for her to continue. Please tell me I wasn’t going to be out of a job. “As you know, my mother started this company and handed it down to me. However, I have no children so that leaves me with no one to turn the company over to. I’m younger than she was, but my heart just isn’t in it anymore. To be honest, Preston wants to get married and move south.”

  This surprised me. The lady who was preaching to me about love, career, and the choices we make was choosing love over her career. At the same time I was happy for her. She’d had a long and successful career. She was due a break to pursue other things. She’d been in the office less and less over the past few months and happier than usual. Everyone in the office picked up on it.

  “You’re engaged?”

  “Shh, you’re the first I’ve told.” She held up her hand and the enormous rock that glittered7

  on her hand was beautiful. Way too big for my taste, but it seemingly suited her.

  “Cecily, congratulations, that’s marvelous! When’s the big day? Do you need help planning?”

  “Ah, I digress. We’ll be eloping. I’m not up for a big to-do. This will be my third marriage and his second. No need for an ostentatious celebration. We plan enough of those here!” She stared at her ring for a moment before talking again. “So, that leaves us to discuss your role here. Are you happy planning parties?”

  I was speechless. How the hell did I answer that question? “Well, I, of course I love planning a good party. The clientele sometimes gets under my skin, but that’d be a problem in any industry, I imagine. I’d love and be willing to take on more responsibility if you see fit. It may help with the transition if you’re truly planning to retire.”

  She smiled at me as she nodded. “That’s the answer I was hoping to hear from you. I’ll start sending you more of my files and we can spend more time together. I’d like you to gain more experience on my side of the table.”

  “Ok, that sounds great.”

  She got up and walked to the door. “Keep up the great work. Don’t be alarmed when you get your next paycheck. With the duties you’ll be taking on, a raise was in order.”

  My jaw dropped before I said, “Thank you.” She winked at me before she left the room and I got up and did a happy dance. I immediately wanted to share the good news with James. Then I remembered that I hadn’t spoken to him f
or a couple of days now. The only communication from him was the vase of flowers now sitting on my desk. I decided to pull out my phone and text him anyways.

  Thank you for the flowers.

  They’re beautiful, as usual.

  PS…I just got a raise and a

  promotion, I think!

  I set my phone down and within seconds it was vibrating away.

  That’s great about the promotion,

  I think? You deserve it.

  That was all his text said. No love, no apology. While I was happy he responded, my shoulders sagged at his lack of response. What was going on with him? One day he was professing his love and the next his walls were up again. I jumped when my cell started dancing across my desk again.

  I’m sorry about this past

  weekend. I have plans with

  an old friend tonight. I’ll call you.

  Love you. ~J

  You know where to find me.

  XOXO ~Blackbird

  He didn’t respond with anything else. Who was this ‘old friend’? I had to stop doubting him. I trusted him. Didn’t I? There was only an hour left in the work day which I spent going through my files, organizing and reorganizing. When I left work I decided to try to finish up my Christmas shopping. I was still stuck on what to get James. What did you get someone who had everything? I wandered around the busy halls of the mall for hours. I picked up some clothes and gift certificates for those remaining on my list, but still no luck with anything for James. I decided to call Jane. Maybe she’d have some ideas.

  “Hey. I called because I’m trying to finish my Christmas shopping for James and I have no idea what to get him. What’d you get Cal?” She started laughing into the phone. “What’s so funny?” She then told me what she had done. “I don’t think I could go through with that.” She told me to think about it and that she’d forward me the number of the photographer.