Letting Go Read online

  His eye color seemed to immediately grow more vibrant. “Wait, I missed a spot.” I stood up on my foot rest to get a better angle on his face and trailed my tongue across his bottom lip and finished with a soft kiss. I was gazing down at him quite pleased with myself.

  I probably would’ve let him devour me right then and there, damn the audience of families. I was looking into his eyes with a big grin on my face. He put his arms around me and grabbed my ass. “Be careful, Cassidy. I wouldn’t want us getting arrested for indecent acts.” He then smacked my ass.

  After he pushed me back down in my seat. He raced down the road once I placed my hands around him. I ran my hands down to his hips and was starting to trace them over his thighs before he grabbed my hand while shaking his head.

  James grabbed my hand before I reached his groin and placed it to his abdomen, “Stop distracting me!” We were only driving for a couple of short minutes when he pulled onto a back road. The road led to an empty field and I noticed a sign declaring we were on private property. He ignored the sign and drove onto the land. He steered us toward a big tree that sat on top of a small hill and parked nearby. I got off the bike and admired my surroundings. The Fall colors were breathtaking.

  I took in my surroundings while he pulled the donuts and a blanket out of the saddlebag. I took the donuts and cider from him as he laid the blanket out under the tree.

  “The sign said private property.”

  “I’m not concerned; I know the owner,” he responded casually and I nodded in approval before I took my seat on the blanket. He sat down next to me and proceeded to pour cider into the cups and then handed me one of the cups. We opened up the donuts and each took one.

  “Mm, it’s so good.” I was truly enjoying the donut and so was James. “It’s so beautiful out here.”

  They were both grinning like little kids. Cassidy leaned back on her hands with outstretched legs and enjoyed the warmth on her face. James wanted to pounce on her and was doing everything he could to contain his need for her. He wanted her to know that he could be a gentleman too.

  “It is. I love it out here.” He continued assaulting her with his eyes and could tell she was getting nervous.

  “You’re not the only one admiring the view.” He thought he caught an eye roll as she shook her head in disagreement. “You really can’t take a compliment, can you Cassidy?”

  “I don’t know. Guess I’m not used to it.”

  ‘Not used to it?’ She was humble but James believed her. She wasn’t used to compliments. It was something he would gladly get her used to. She smiled at him as he closed the distance between them.

  James leaned in and brushed his thumb across my cheek. Ever so slowly, he leaned in and paused with only a breath between our lips. I was aware that I stopped breathing.

  My breath caught as James was about to press his lips to mine; I wanted it so much. “I’m not going to kiss you again until I know more about you.” I let out a moan as he leaned back against the tree.

  He was really enjoying this. “What do you want to know?” I grabbed another donut and pulled a piece off, slowly putting it in my mouth while locking my gaze on his. I tried enticing him but it was evident he wasn’t going to give in. I decided to start talking before he started asking questions I didn’t want to answer.

  “I have an older brother who’s a cop. Dad’s a Ford retiree. I grew up in the suburbs. I’m a party planner, but you know that. If you want to know something specific you’ll have to ask.”

  Then he asked the dreaded question. “What about your mom?”

  I was pretty sure I visibly flinched at the mention of my mom. Ugh. He didn’t miss a beat. “Mom’s gone, has been a long time. Next question please.”

  He must’ve figured I didn’t want to discuss it further because he changed the subject. “Any past relationships?”

  “Nothing serious, at least not mutually. You?”

  “Nothing serious, at least not mutually.” He flashed me a smile. “What do you want for your birthday? It’s Saturday, correct?”

  That smirk flashed again and I couldn’t help but blush every time I saw it. His question caught my attention. “How do you know when my birthday is?”

  “Purse. Elevator.”

  “Oh. Um…I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it. It’s not like I expect any gifts. I’ve been so busy with work and the auction.” It dawned on me then that he would probably be at the auction on Friday. It was being held in his hotel after all. It was as if he could read my mind.

  “I’ll be there,” he said. Going back to our conversation about my birthday, he asked, “What about a new, bigger bed?”

  I scoffed, “Ha! Mr. Benedict, don’t tease. I’ll take the bed from 1204 if you don’t mind. Best night’s sleep I’ve had in a long time. Though, that may have had something to do with you.” I shivered just at the thought of our time in that bed and flashed him my sexiest stare. He brought something out in me that I couldn’t quite explain. I had never felt so confident around a man before. I smiled at him, hoping that I was tempting him.

  “I’ll have to see what I can do.”

  I laughed because he couldn’t possibly be serious. Could he? I got on my knees and crawled over to him. He didn’t move a hair as I straddled his knees.

  “I like a lady on her knees.”

  “I bet you do. What about you? When’s your birthday? Anything catch your eye that you want?” He grabbed the back of my thighs and pulled me closer.

  I grasped his shoulders to steady myself as he buried his head in my neck and inhaled. I moaned and in turn buried my head in his hair, running my hands up the back of his neck. He exhaled into my ear, “I have what I want right here and now.” I moaned and brought my head down to his while running my hands through his hair.

  “You’re a temptress, Miss Charles.” He grasped my waist and pushed me off and up to my feet as he followed. “You bring it out in me.” I felt like I was going to combust and let out a disappointed groan.

  He popped another donut in his mouth, gathered some of our belongings and headed back to his bike. I was horny as hell and was starting to fancy the idea of James naked in the autumn sun. He was bringing out a whole new side of me that I didn’t know existed. I gathered the blanket and followed him over to his bike.

  “It’s getting late and we both have to work tomorrow.”

  James handed me my helmet while taking the blanket from me and putting it away. I looked to the horizon and noticed the early signs of the sunset approaching. “Shit, my car.”

  “It will be back at your place by the time we get back.” James motioned me to get on the bike. He fired it up and headed back to town. I couldn’t help but wonder why he was suddenly being so distant. He was acting all gentlemanly, like you would expect on a first date. Of course, this was their first date, technically. I was thankful to be headed home because it was starting to cool down quickly.

  Chapter Eleven – Anchors…

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  “Are you hungry?” We’d just walked in the door at my place after I looked over my car. He even had my stereo replaced’ he was too good to be true.

  “What did you have in mind?”

  “We can order takeout, there’s some Chinese left over from last night. I can cook, but I don’t have much.”

  “Whatever’s easy?”

  I headed to the kitchen and pulled out some plates, forks and got the leftovers out of the fridge. “All I have is champagne, water and soda.” He took water and I did the same. After the food was heated up, I took my plate and headed to the living room with him following behind me. I sat on one end of the couch facing the opposite end where he took his seat. We each had a few bites before he broke the silence.

  “Why a phoenix and the blackbird? You have a thing for birds?” he asked with half a grin.

  His question took me off guard a little. I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s silly, really.” I looked to him and his curiosity wasn’t b
udging. I could tell by the look on his face he wanted to know. I sighed, “When Holly and I met I was in the middle of reading all the Harry Potter books. She was peering over my shoulder one day and saw me reading about the phoenix. She had questions and I explained them. She said that we were both like the phoenix, each in our own regard. Overcoming hardships in our past, having to let it go so we could move on with our future. We were planning to get matching phoenix tattoos before she died. She actually drew my tattoo. I had it done on her birthday in September.” I looked at him and he was listening intently to me with a sincere smile on his face. Slowly, James turned his smile into that sexy smirk that turned me on and made me uneasy all at once. “I told you it was silly.”

  “It’s not silly. It’s lovely. When are you getting the colors added?” He took another bite of his food and I did the same.

  “I’ve been meaning to schedule the color appointment, but I’ve been so busy with work. And I still haven’t decided what colors I want to use.” I winked at him. “Why the dragon?” I looked at him nervously.

  “Similar to you, it has to do with someone close to me that I lost.” Before I had a chance to inquire more, he set his plate on the coffee table, closed the distance between us and took my plate from me, placing it next to his. He unfolded my legs before he sat back down on his end of the couch grabbing my ankles and setting my feet in his lap before unlacing my boots. “And the blackbird?”

  Everything about him was smoldering. “A few things. I love the song by Alter Bridge. My grandmother’s maiden name stands for blackbird, or so she told me. Some people say they’re a bad omen but my grandmother used to tell me that blackbirds were our ancestors watching over us, like guardian angels.”

  He nodded his understanding. “I like the song, too. Seeing the tattoo on your wrist all those months ago reminded me. I listened to that song over and over these past few months. Do you have any other tattoos?”

  “Maybe.” He growled and I snickered. “Holly and I got matching tattoos several years ago, my first, then the blackbird two summers ago after my grandmother died.”

  “Where is it?” Both of my boots were now off as he tossed them to the floor. He locked his hands onto both ankles and yanked me closer to him. “Tell me, Cassidy.”

  I was already panting and feeling flush. “You’re getting warm.” He grinned and removed my socks in unison. “Warmer.” James began running his hands all over my right foot and I immediately tensed, trying not to bust out in laughter.

  “Maybe I’ll tickle it out of you.” He traced a finger from my heel up to my arch and my hips bucked as I grasped the cushion beneath me.

  “Please don’t!” He examined my entire foot before running his hand up the back of my calf, massaging as he went. I rolled my head back and savored his touch. He dropped my leg and started examining my left and I knew when he had found it. I felt his weight shift and then the hot sensation of his tongue as it licked the outside of my ankle. “Mmmm.” Goose bumps covered my body.

  “How did I miss this? Why an anchor?” He sat back down all the way and pulled me a little closer to him. My feet were resting on his hips as he resumed massaging my calves. I had to force myself to look at him.

  “We were all the other had for a long time. Cal was in Afghanistan and Holly didn’t have any family. It was just the two of us.” I sighed and let my head drop to the side resting on the couch as he continued kneading my calves.

  “So was her anchor in the same spot?”

  “Actually, she got wings on her back.” He didn’t have to ask the question. “We were inspired by a sign we saw once in a store window. ‘You are the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground and I am the wings that keep your heart in the clouds’ or something like that. I was her anchor, she was my wings.”

  “That’s beautiful.” His hands left my legs as he guided me to lie on my back and hovered over me. I didn’t resist.

  “Thank you.” He was above me and I was longing for him to kiss me. I moved my hands to touch him and he moved out of reach before I was successful.

  His hands were on the waist of my jeans as he worked his way under my shirt. My breath hitched as he ran his hands over my belly before undoing my pants. “Lift your hips.” I did as I was bid as he tugged my jeans from my hips. He sat back down as my jeans joined my socks and boots on the floor. His hands made their way to my thighs and began massaging. He was dangerously close to my panties and I was worried he would set me off without much more effort. I realized I was tense when he whispered, “Breathe, Blackbird. Relax.” He sounded almost as breathless as I felt.

  His hands ran along my hips then up under my back and I was suddenly face to face with him. James had pulled me to his lap and I immediately flanked his sides with my legs and circled my arms around his shoulders. He buried his face in my neck and inhaled deeply. I believed he found my scent as intoxicating as I found his. His scorching tongue worked its way to my ear where he bit, tugged and sucked on my lobe.

  “Ohhh, God.”

  I was panting in his hair as I sought relief by trying to grind into him. His hands were all over my back and it felt like he left a trail of burnt ash along my skin.

  “James...”

  He tugged my shirt over my head and began kneading my breasts through my bra. His chest was heaving along with mine. I needed him on top of me, in me, on me. I tried to lie back and he stopped me, instead wrapping his arms tightly around my back, placing his hands on my shoulders as he pressed me into his erection. Bursts of electricity shot through my body at the momentary relief of his cock pressed against my pussy. I circled my hips against him and grasped his back like my life depended on it.

  “Shit.” He thrust up in response to my movements.

  “James, please kiss…”

  I didn’t get to finish my sentence. His lips attacked mine and I was in heaven. I am truly putty in his hands. I continued to rub myself against him and worked on pulling his shirt up. I found the expanse of his back and it was hot and dewy.

  Bang, bang, bang.

  I brought my hands to his chest and leaned back momentarily. He obliged and I tugged his shirt off and added it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. He was simply stunning to look at.

  BANG, BANG, BANG.

  “Cassidy, don’t make me bust down the door. I know you’re in there.” I bolted upright and nearly leapt off James’s lap. Dammit, Cal!

  “Shit. It’s my brother. He will break down the door.” We were both catching our breath. I climbed off James’s lap and threw a shirt on. “Don’t move.” I was surprised with my own tone and James just smirked at me.

  Bang, bang, bang…

  “HOLD ON, CAL!” I went to grab my jeans and realized the shirt I put on wasn’t my own. It was more than long enough and it would have to do. I looked to James and he looked good enough to eat, that damn smile on his face, just lying there, nearly naked. If this didn’t send the message to Cal that I was ‘busy’, nothing would. I rushed to the door, unbolted it and threw it open. “WHAT!?”

  “What are you doing with HIM?” He was shouting at me. He tried to walk past me and I braced both hands on his chest in response.

  “What do you mean him?”

  “You know what I mean. He’s the owner of The Blue Horse.” He looked me up and down, noticing the shirt and my near nakedness. If he was angry before, he was fuming mad now; I could almost see the steam puffing out his ears.

  “Dammit, Cal, get OUT!” I shoved him back, which took all my strength. “I’m twenty-seven years old and I’ll date whomever I want. This isn’t up for discussion. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I pushed him again, just far enough that I could slam the door. I immediately locked the deadbolt and looked out the peep hole.

  He was throwing his hands in the air as he walked back to his patrol car. He tended to stop by when he was on duty and things were slow. Knowing him, he ran the plates on the motorcycle when he pulled up. Dammit. I took a deep breath, smoothed down the shirt I
wore and headed back to the living room.

  He hadn’t moved. It should be illegal to look that divine. I plopped down on the couch next to him. “Sorry, he’s a little over protective. Big brother syndrome and all; it doesn’t help he has a badge to go with it.”

  James didn’t say a word. He simply moved so fast, that before I knew it, I was on top of him again. We were sitting up, face to face, as I straddled his lap once more. I was taking in his appearance in when he put his nose to mine. “Dating, huh? Why didn’t you tell me you were dating someone? This might be a deal breaker, Cassidy.”

  Shit. I immediately tried to retract my statement. We hadn’t discussed dating or anything relationship oriented. “Sorry, I, it’s just that I didn’t know what to tell him. I didn’t mean to imply…” He started cracking up. “What are you laughing at?” Now I was annoyed.

  “Whoever this bloke is that you’re dating, tell him to get lost, you’ll only be dating me from now on.” He was rubbing his nose up and down mine when I realized the joke was on me. “That is, if you want to date me. I’m perfectly fine with just the fucking.”

  I sucked in my breath and attempted to get off his lap. I was appalled. He made it sound so dirty.

  He seized my arms, “Cassidy, I’m joking. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to offend you. You’re the only girl for me, have been since that first night I saw you at The Blue Horse.”

  I relaxed and looked into his eyes. He wasn’t lying. “Really?”

  “Cassidy, don’t ever doubt it. We’ll deal with Cal and anyone else who might have a problem with it. Okay? Now, where were we?” He gently pressed his lips to mine. I eased my body back into his and accepted his kiss.

  I panted, “Okay,” between kisses.

  James wasted no time in removing his shirt from me. I settled in closer to him and ran my fingers through his hair. I tipped his head back so I could have better access to his mouth as his hands began kneading my shoulders and neck. I dropped my head to his shoulder as he released the tension from my shoulders. Running my hands across his ribs and down his abdomen, I reveled in the dusting of hair that covered him. I paid special attention to the happy trail that disappeared into his jeans.